An end to my journey

I have decided to end my Celebrating Home business. For the last 8 months I have not done anything with it frankly because of the position Kevin and I have at our church. Neither one of us feel comfortable with money exchanging hands within the congregation, all my business really was back in OR and I needed someone I didn't know and wasn't a part of my church to get started here. So, after telling myself I wasn't a failure, I made the heartfelt decision to not sell anymore. I love the Celebrating Home product and have a friend who sells it so will probably just buy from her if I want something. I enjoyed my three years of selling and met some fascinating people and got some awesome products! When we first moved here I looked into how many consultants there were for Celebrating Home. There were NONE!! NADA!! ZILCH!! What a vast land of business that could have been. Not only great sales but potential to sign consultants in this area!! The closest consultant was in upper NE IA! Anyway, that being said it's been a great journey with Celebrating Home. It was great while it lasted and honestly I didn't think it would last as long as it did. Kudos to Renee who was my lifeline when I was first starting out. She helped me make my business what it was!!

My Heart Hurts

Okay, this is what I call being very transparent, which is not always something I wish to do. I know God says He will not give you more than you can handle. Yet, there are days when I feel like saying "How much more Lord?" I realized God chose Kevin and I to raise our sweet precious Zay. Yet, many times I wonder where in our parenting did we go wrong? Did we go wrong? Here we are supposed to be ministers to children yet there are days where sometimes we feel like ripping our own hair out with our own child. He's a precious boy, don't get me wrong. But with one word he can flip in an instance. It breaks my heart to see him in such anquish yet all I can and know how to do is pray. Pray for his little heart that is hurting, pray for the anger that wants to rise up in him so much. I love his hugs and his laughter yet when I see the other side of him come out it, at times, worries me and tires me. I have cried myself to sleep many nights because I feel like I have failed as a parent. I have failed to keep him from spouting hurtful things out of his mouth. I have failed. There are many days that when he's finally in bed asleep I can relax and not feel so tense. I sometimes hesitate to even tell him no because I know the response I will get and it won't be a pretty one. Then I realize if I don't tell him no then I'm creating an even worse situation. Honestly, I have to admit that I have thought of my child as a brat at times. No, I would never say it to his face but God forgive that is what I have felt like. It makes me sad to even admit that. Many times I would look at people in the store and their child is throwing a fit and think "Can't you keep that kid in control?" I've had to ask the Lord to forgive me of that thinking because I've been in the store and my child is throwing a fit. I can just see other people looking at me with those same thoughts I had. My heart is heavy yet all I can do is pray. I worry about him constantly. I worry about how he will do in school. Will he have any friends because he just gets to frustrated and then turns mean? Will he focus and pay attention? My heart aches yet the only thing I know to do is to once again trust the Lord for direction and wisdom on him. No one has answers except the Lord. Does anger run in his birth father's family? Will he always be like this or will he outgrow the anger? Those are questions that run through my mind on a daily basis and at times wears me down. All I can do is trust that the Lord will give us the guidance we need to help our little man in such a crisis. To keep annointing him and praying for him. His name means "Chosen By God". Chosen by God to live a healthy, joyful life. Chosen by God to grow up and do mighty things for the Lord.....Zayvn.......Chosen By God......

Home from Camp

We got home Friday afternoon from our 2nd week at Kid's Camp. What an awesome time it was! It was so great to see the kids down at the altars seeking the Lord and worshiping Him. I love kid's camp and I'm always blessed to see so many campers go home with a life changing response from the Lord.
This year Renn was able to go and be a camper. He was one of those campers at the altars seeking the Lord. It blessed me so to see him there and even more so when he told us that God had called him to be a children's pastor!! How cool is that??? I can already see changes within his attitude and his spirit and know that the Lord touched him. It thrills my heart to see him blossom in the Lord. Proverbs says "Train up a child in the Lord and He will not depart." That's what Kev and I are trying to do with the Lord's help.
If you want to see pictures and/or hear of the many things we did at camp go to the Zoom Zone blog at bereanzoomzone.blogspot.com or you can go to my Facebook page and check out even more pics.
Tonight after church we have an all church swim at the Carlisle Aquactic Center. Should be lots of fun. Hoping for a great turnout.
This week I'll go back to work. I'm looking forward to seeing Anna Mae as it's been several weeks since I've seen her. Dentist appts, Mom's in the Park, two get togethers and church will fill up our week. We will then leave a week from tomorrow for a week's vacation to Branson, MO. My in laws have so generously allowed us to use their time share in Branson. We are looking forward to time away as a family to just relax and play. It's been 11 years since Kev and I have been to Branson so we are looking forward to taking the boys.
After our vacation that leaves just two weeks before the boys start school. I registered them on Friday and they know who their teachers are already. The month of August will go by quickly as we prepare to buy school supplies and get things ready for school. Zayvn is excited and ready. Renn is wishing there was more time!! We are believing this year is going to be the best school year yet!!

Camp

Still at camp. Come home tomorrow. Check out bereanzoomzone.blogspot.com blog to hear about the week!

Pics

Here's some pics. Too many to put them all up but I have all of them on my Facebook. The last picture of the boys is with the worship band Paradigm http://paradigmworshipband.com. Awesome, Awesome worship!! They were incredible and Zayvn just had a blast with them! Their website is pretty neat too. If you get a chance go there and check it out. Here's a run down of the pics.

• Kids praying for the adults
• Zayvn and Kevin getting ready to drive Go Karts
• Kevin in the Zorb ball
• Zayvn and Alec
• Zayvn on the swing
• Renn and Zayvn eating with Leighton and Dallon, Pastor Heath & Ali's children. Pastor Heath is the Iowa District Youth Director
• Kevin being silly
• Kevin and Pastor Keaton talking
• Boys swimming
• Renn and Zayvn walking
• Kids praying for adults
• The four amigos
• Go Kart riding
• Kevin in the Zorb getting ready to go down
• Alec and Zay again
• Worship Band with Renn and Zayvn

Kid's Camp Day 1 & 2

We arrived about noon yesterday. Had lunch, waited for Dallon and Leighton, Pastor Heath and Ali's daughters to arrive and just hung out. The girls finally got here and they and the boys have been like glue to one another, other than swim time. Swim time, girls and boys swim seperate. So we had dinner and then Pastor Heath took us on a little adventure to the Zip lines. Zayvn of course is very excited to go on them however because of his age may not be able too. Renn on the other hand is steering cleer of them. Ali and I and the kids decided to go exploring some more on the golf cart. We turned down this lane which we thought was the Royal Ranger camp. As we kept going we soon realized it was not the right way. Ali backed up and got the cart stuck in mud. We told the kids to go behind and push us out but soon realized that was a mistake when we saw the mud flying and little Leighton was covered in mud. We eventually got it unstuck and made our way back to our places so we could get ready for service.

Rowena made a visit to the kids and was just crazy! Zayvn helped Kevin with the memory verse and was just absolutely precious! Kevin led the service and the Lord touched many children last night. Cousin Eddie is coming tonight and we are expecting the Lord to do great things again. So many memories are etched in my mind and heart. My children are learning lessons about not thinking because dad is the speaker they have special privileges. Zayvn has become the kid's mascot and all love to say hi and give hi fives! We all wear names tags and when it's time to eat we go to the head of the line. Zayvn has used the tag in numerous ways to get a head to other lines or even telling one of the pastors here that he didn't have to go in for service because he had a tag!! Yes, even my dear children even after one day are trying to milk it!

Today was free time in the afternoon so Zayvn wanted to ride the Zorb ball. After standing in line for 1/2 hour and getting all the way to the top he decided he didn't want to do that! Go Karts were next and after walking all the way there he again decided to not do that. After all that it was time to go swimming.

Having trouble uploading pics so those will have to wait.

Kid's Camp #1, Day 1

What a crazy day it was here. So much to tell but oh so late at night. What I will say is golf carts, crazy rides, stuck in the mud, mud flying and showers of mud. More on that and pics as well. Rowena, craziness, games, seeking God, Holy Spirit, friendships, Keaton, Snack Shak. Those are just a few things that went on here today/tonight. When I'm not so tired I will share more. Just know it's been an awesome day and I'm excited to see what God will do tomorrow!!

Gone to Camp

Tomorrow the four of us will be leaving for Kid's Camp 1 at Sunstream Retreat Center in Ogden. Kevin is preaching this camp and even has the boys helping him do puppets and memory verse. We are all very excited to go. Please pray for God to use Kevin in such a way that it reaches the boys and girls going. The boys and girls going are 4th thru 6th grade. Kevin will have his laptop up there so I'll try to post pictures if I can.

Zayvn's Birthday Party

Filling the pinata





















Although Zayvn's birthday was on Wednesday we had his party today. Another water party. Good thing this kid was born in July!! We had the swimming pool filled and the sprinkler going. Did some water games with water balloons and then put up the slip n slide. After the slip n slide we had cupcakes and ice cream. Grandma couldn't make a cake and send it all the way here so we just made home made cupcakes and Zayvn frosted them this morning. It was then present time. Finally the pinata came out and the kids went back to swimming and playing in the water. It was a great time had by all!!