My Unending Journey

My friend has a blog titled My Transparent Heart.  I should title this blog entry that since I'm going to be VERY transparent here today!!  The first of the year I decided to watch what I eat.  I know, I know.  I've been on this cycle before but a friend and I decided to keep each other accountable on this unending journey.  I've made it 8 days and I've kept pretty good track of what I've been eating thanks to Calorie Counter http://www.caloriecounter.com/.   With my bmi (you don't need to know this! wink, wink) I'm to have 1500 calories.  The first day I started I didn't even make it.  The 2nd day I flew right on by.  The last six I've been meeting the mark just shy a few calories.  It's really opened my eyes and to be conciously aware of what I'm eating.  Yes, I do have the temptations to snack, however if I do, I know I have to write it down.   I never ate breakfast in the morning, skipping out until I had break at work.  I didn't like to take the time to make something so now I grab a breakfast bar or something easy.  It's made a world of difference when I take break and get something to eat.  I don't feel like I'm starving to death.  My friend keeps telling me to go buy a scale (oops, I was just at the store last night!) but I don't want to.  I don't want to step onto it and see the pounds I haven't lost.  I don't want to have to be controlled by a scale, so therefore I won't buy one.  I would rather feel the loosening of my clothes than be subject to a scale that is not going to be my friend.   No, I haven't forgot about the exercise part.  That does come with eating healthy.  Exercise is not my friend either.  We have never been friends although I'm trying.    We have a membership to the campus, however finding time to go there is beyond me.  No, I'm not making excuses.  It truly is hard to find time to go.  Kev goes early in the morning (like at 4:30am.  Yeah right!!  Says the night owl!!)  I could go in the evening but I enjoy spending time with my family in the evening.  I would rather be with them then at the gym.  I do a lot of walking at work, on my feet for all but 15 minutes of my 5 hours.  Especially when I'm catcher in the dish room (putting all the dishes away).   That  walking has helped tremendously and in the evening when everyone is in bed I do my own little version of exercise.  Not long, but I feel, for me, long enough and hard enough.  I kick myself for not grabbing the treadmill that someone offered to us last year!!  Will this journey end?  I don't think so.  It is a journey I have traveled most of my life.  However, it's been a journey without asking the Lord's guidance and help and a journey without faith and belief.  Faith and belief in myself that I can make better and wiser food selections.  Dinner rolls around and I make the same meal for everyone, I just choose to take a little less than I use to.   My unending journey may not ever end because I will always have to watch what I eat but it's a journey that can make me stronger and better.  Physically, spiritually and emotionally.